READ NEWSPAPERS

“Why don’t you read the newspapers?!”
“Why don’t you keep on top of the news?”
“Why don’t you know what’s happening in the world?”

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“No time… Can’t manage… When can there be time to read newspapers, when there’s so much to do… Can’t do everything…”
That’s one lot of excuses.
“Your newspapers don’t reach us… The post is really bad… By god, it’s not my fault… It’s the post… Lack of transport…”
That’s a second lot of excuses.
“Does your paper even come out? Amazing…! I didn’t even know…!”
And a third lot of excuses.
“They just keep scribbling and scribbling there… What the hell do they keep scribbling for…? As if we didn’t know ourselves what’s happening… I’ve got heaps on without having to worry about newspapers… Don’t know why anyone would need them, anyway…”
A fourth lot of excuses.
And there are fifth, and sixth, and seventh, and forty-seventh lots of excuses…
Summarize it all, and what you have is:
“People don’t read…”
Here in our parts, within a radius of 20-30-100 kilometres, people don’t read local papers.
“They don’t reach us, by god, they don’t! It’s the bloody post!”
Cunning newspaper.
Manages to reach America across various Atlantic, Pacific and Intensific oceans, but can’t get to our Valky – no…
What can one do?
It’s not a newspaper, more like some kind of maniac…
One needs to read newspapers, because great calamities can result from not reading papers…
I know for a fact that in this one kingdom, this one country, none of the County Executive Committees, or Parish Executive Committees or Committees for Poor Peasants ever read any newspapers…
And what happened?!
I still find it frightening…
In the County Executive Committee, in the administration department, elderberries sprouted under the chairman’s desk and every time the executive committee assembled for a meeting, something would begin to grunt in the elderberries… Everyone became frightfully frightened. And then two weeks later they noticed that the chairman had grown hooves.
And he tottered about on them all over the place!
And all the members of the committee began to sprout bristles on their faces.
They would assemble at a meeting and begin to grunt and oink…
Frightened the hell out of all the local folk…
So they were forced to hold fresh elections…
And meanwhile in the parish…
The chairman there hadn’t read a newspaper for ages, and it reached the point where he would dash out into the street, get down on all fours, paw the earth with his right hand and let out a bull’s roar…!
They re-elected the chairman three weeks later, because the cows were going mad in their stalls…
The old grannies had begun to rebel…
In one village the people decided:
“Why the hell do we need a newspaper? We can live happily without it!”
So what do you think happened?
The “Village Farmer” arrived with tractors for their village and found them all crawling about the fields ploughing the earth with their noses.
“We’re preparing for the sowing season!” they declared in unison!
That’s what happened…

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So start reading newspapers.

1929